The Dentist

"Bum, Bum, Bum" (said in that dreading, foreshadowing way used in all good sound effect situations).
We had been throwing around the fact that it was probably time to take Matthew to the dentist for a while (like probably a year). This winter I started noticing some fishy spots on his teeth and we decided it was time to get serious about it. So we bit the bullet, paid for the dental insurance through the school, and made some dentist appointments. I was feeling good about finally taking my kids to the dentist, dreading the lecture about flossing and brushing I knew would come, and expecting a cavity or two for Matthew. I ended up being proven wrong in every aspect.
Matthew's appointment started out well. They took some x-rays and then did the exam. The dentist made it sound like his teeth were being decently cared for and weren't too bad. I didn't get the lecture I was expecting. But then she started talking about his x-rays and what it meant. At first it seemed like what I expected; he had some bad spots, some cavities, why it was important to take care of his baby teeth...But then it kept getting more and more intense as she started explaining the treatment that needed done. At that point I said I better have Justin come back (who had been in the lobby with Koyle). So she went through it again, a little more briefly and I was so grateful he was there with me so I didn't have to try and explain everything to him in my shocked state afterwards.
The diagnosis: he would need 8 crowns, 3 root canals, and 2 cavities filled. What?!
The cost: about $4000
I literally had to practice taking deep breathes and hold back the tears as I walked out of the office that day. On the bright side, Koyle's teeth were fine!
It was one of those moments where you feel like your whole life is changing on a dime. How on earth were we going to come up with that money in the next 2 weeks? And then just in time to have a baby and deal with all those extra expenses we were trying to work into our already meager student budget. I felt like a horrible mother because surely I could have prevented this moment if only I had done this or that. And I started judging and second guessing every dollar I had spent in the last month or was planning to spend in the near future. It really shook me up for a few hours. But I finally calmed down and was able to look at things a little more objectively. And I tried to take comfort in the fact that despite things I could have done to avoid the situation being this bad before discovering it, it seems that the biggest factor was just that Matthew has bad teeth-not that his mother let them rot out of his head.
We worked out the finances and prepped Matthew for the big day. The only part he was a little nervous about was the needle part but after talking about it he was not worried. They started by giving him a drink that was supposed to relax him so they could do everything they needed to for the sedation. It was pretty funny to watch as it kicked in. He started acting super silly and couldn't hold his head up. His speech was slurred and he was talking about funny things. It was a "so this is what my child is like on drugs" moment. I wish I had a video of it. Then they put the laughing gas mask on him and it was at that point I had to give him a kiss and leave the room. Apparently you can't be around laughing gas when you're pregnant. I was a little nervous about leaving him when they put the IV in because we had talked about how he could look at mom and not the needle and that I would be right there with him the whole time. But he was drugged up enough by that point that it didn't even phase him. After the whole thing was over with he got mad at me because he didn't get to see the needle. : )
I sat in the waiting room reading a book and just watching time pass by. The receptionist kept asking me if I was doing okay and I couldn't figure out if it was because I was pregnant or because most parents normally have a hard time. I think it was the latter because they sent flowers to me a few days later (something they do for all parents of such patients apparently). Anyways, they told me they would come out halfway through and let me know how things were going, etc. They came out one time and told me they were almost halfway and that someone would be out shortly to talk to me but then nobody ever came out. I was starting to get a little worried because the anesthesiologist charged by the hour and we had expected it to only take a couple of hours. About that time they came out and told me they were done. Phew! I sat down to work out the final financial details and there were a few problems we ran into which once again made me freak out for a moment. I called Justin quickly and told him what was going on but I needed to get back with Matthew while he was waking up and was going to have to deal with that later. Once again my awesome husband saved the day and he called and worked it out with the receptionist.
Matthew came out of the anesthesia really well. They had warned me that kids usually get really upset, grumpy, mean, throw tantrums, cry a lot, etc. So I was preparing for that but he did awesome. He stayed really calm the whole time. He got a little upset at the beginning because he couldn't get comfortable in the chair and he kept moving around and trying to get out of the chair. I wanted to just pick him up and hold him in my lap so bad but knew that wasn't an option being 8 months pregnant. I went out to the car and got his blanket and that helped calm him down and he settled into his chair again. As he got more awake they fed him a Popsicle to get some food in his system. He hadn't been able to eat anything since 5:30 that morning and by this point it was about 4:00 in the afternoon. Eventually they got him up and helped him walk around. Then they had him do it again a few minutes later. Finally he was cleared to leave and the kind nurses helped walk him out to the car.
By dinner he was completely awake and acting normal again. His mouth was a little sore but he ate dinner with us. He had very little pain associated with it which I was shocked by. His recovery went so smooth. He ate soft food that night and the next morning and then started eating normal foods as he wanted to. His gums were a little sore the first couple days when we brushed his teeth but other than that he was fine.
He thought his new crowns were pretty neat and told me they looked like jewels in a cave!
We have obviously vamped up our tooth care program. The boys get to brush their own teeth, with supervision, in the morning. At night mom or dad has to brush for them and we also floss every night. Today at his follow up appointment the dentist said his mouth looked awesome and that we were doing a great job. Yeah!
Moral of the story: don't wait until your child is 4 1/2 to take him to the dentist, and even if tooth brushing is one of the only areas where your child exerts independence, the parent needs to be brushing their teeth for them every day. I also learned that you never know what life will throw at you and your budget needs to be able to handle such situations. This is something we try to do and this experience showed both that we do good at budgeting and living beneath our means, but you really should have that emergency fund Dave Ramsey talks about. How to do that on a student budget though I haven't figured out yet : )