Barf on the Page

So, I have about a million things to blog about and the more they keep adding up in my mind the longer I put it off and it just keeps getting worse. Tonight I am home alone and while I told myself I was going to either go to bed early, or do some good cleaning, I am just hanging out.
One night in college my roommates and I were sitting around the kitchen table doing homework; I had a paper to write that I didn't care about nor did I have the time to care about it. So much like tonight I just started writing whatever came out. After a while of this I concluded that it was "barf on the page"-I was just getting things out and then I would organize it later. That saying made it onto the quote wall and we had many more nights of "barfing on the page" if you will.
Today we went to the Hogle Zoo with Tami. (I will do a post of this with cute pictures later.) The zoo just happens to be right up the street from where Justin and I lived while going to school there. I haven't driven back up there in years and I had the strangest walk down memory lane. First there was painted rock down in the canyon as you come up on the exit. We use to talk about that rock all the time and on the many drives from Provo to Salt Lake that was always what I looked for to know I was almost home. Then right as you get off the exit there is a Chevron. That is where we stopped to fill up with gas as we rolled into town with all our stuffed crammed into our little Honda Civic. Then as you keep driving there is the Red Hanger Dry Cleaners where we took one of Justin's shirts, there is the church that always let me know I was still on the right road, the gas station where we washed our car, the grocery store I shopped at. And then the intersection; the one intersection that made me feel like I knew where I was (I never really learned to navigate Salt Lake). And then the old apartments. Can I just say that as I drove by, they actually made Wymount look good. I was surprised at how many memories I had, and how they came back as fond memories to me. We only lived there for a couple of months and it was the hardest, most unhappy time of my life so I have never remembered it with much fondness. Weird is the word that keeps coming to mind. Does this mean I really should think about going to Utah if we get accepted there? Oh bother.
But my children are so cute and so well behaved. I can run a pretty tight ship sometimes-I don't put up with a lot crap. I expect Matthew to listen and obey and I don't always have a ton of patience when he doesn't. I feel like I do a pretty good job of only expecting of him what he should be able to do at his age, but I am not perfect. Sometimes there are moments when I think oh my goodness-Matthew doesn't listen to me at all, he is just a crazy 2 year old. But more often than not when I take him out, or when he is around other kids I really see how awesome he is. Matthew is very obedient and I can give him quite a bit of freedom because I know that he isn't going to run off or do something crazy. However, sometimes this backfires and Matthew's mischievous, naughty side takes over; this usually results in me not being as patient as I should. I am finding that I set myself up for failure sometimes. Well, this really isn't a new revelation to me but I am trying to get better at not doing stupid things and then not getting mad when I did do something stupid. Example: Matthew wanted to eat his cereal on the couch this morning so I gave him a bowl of my homemade granola (without milk, I'm not that stupid). Naturally, he knocked his bowl over not once, but twice, and I got upset that he made a mess all over the couch and floor. But seriously, I gave my 2 year old a bowl of cereal on the couch and expected there to not be a mess.
While I was pregnant with Koyle I would always tell myself that two kids was going to be easier than one. I knew this was probably not true but I needed to make myself feel good because I would sometimes get quite anxious about having another baby. Well it turns out-two kids is WAY easier than one kid. This is due largely in part to the fact that Koyle is just a very good natured kid. But from the very beginning the boys have helped to entertain each other and two kids gives me more to do so I have fewer moments of "what am I going to do for another 4 hours with this baby that doesn't do anything?" I have also learned a lot of things. And I get double the joy and satisfaction out of dedicating my days to teaching and playing with my children since I am nurturing two souls instead of just one. (Not that Matthew wasn't worth it just himself, I just feel double the joy now in those moments when I realize I really am doing some good in the world.)
Okay, I think I am ready to stop "barfing" now. ha ha. I crack myself up. I really need some sleep. Koyle has had a nasty cough for 2 weeks now which means I have not been getting much sleep. Goodnight!