Potty Problems

This again? Yep. It never ends. Koyle had been doing great for quite a while now but Christmas did him in and he started having problems again. Now, in February, he is finally getting back to not pooping in his pants. It's hard to go back after you thought you had buried that problem and left it far behind. But the bigger challenge has been with Matthew. He started peeing his pants again in late September/early October. And I kid you not ever since then he has peed his pants almost every day at school. Sometimes multiple times a day cause he does it at home too. For a while I thought it was just that life had been so crazy with the move and having a baby and our sense of "normal" was out of whack. So I worked really hard to get back into a predictable routine with him and give him positive attention when he got home from school. That didn't help. The longer it went on the more I realized we had a real problem on our hands. We tried all kinds of motivations and punishments that we could think of. Nothing worked. So many times I have been at my wits end with this kid. I know that it is mostly behavioral, but I think there are some physical factors playing into it as well. And its hard because I'm not at school so I can't be there to stay on top of it. I have been super frustrated because the teacher doesn't notice and he never changes his pants, so he just comes home in nasty peed clothes and stinking every day. It's a good thing little kids are forgiving and don't notice stuff or else he would have no friends in life right now. In January I met with his teacher for parent teacher conferences because something had to change. I don't think she knew how big of a problem it was and that it was happening every day. We came up with a plan for her to send him to the bathroom at a certain time every afternoon when it was usually happening. And he has a chart that she marks every day and sends home for me to sign. If he stayed dry a whole week he could earn extra computer time in class (of course that is what he chose). He has also been trying to earn extra levels on his Lego Star Wars game on the iPad by staying dry for five consecutive days at school since before Christmas. It took a while but he finally did it last week! So we are starting to see some progress but I feel like its artificial because he is only staying dry because the teacher is making him go not because he is remembering to do it on his own.

The problem is two fold as I see it: He is constipated which pushes on the bladder making him need to go more often and not as able to hold it. This is a common problem with wetting. He is not wetting the bed at night but he does get up a lot, sometimes 2 or 3 times a night, to go to the bathroom, and he doesn't pee very much when he goes. I haven't been super consistent with the miralax. We have it from a couple good doctor sources that we need to do an extreme bowel cleanse with him and then keep him on a heavy miralax pooping regiment for a couple weeks to get things cleaned out and back to normal that way. He also needs to work on emptying his bladder all the way when he goes.

 The second problem is behavioral. He doesn't want to stop doing something he is enjoying to take the time to go pee. Same problem we had when he was younger. He also doesn't notice and/or doesn't care when he has an accident so he doesn't change and clean up until we notice and make him. We have tried all kinds of motivations, punishments, nice encouraging talks, mad yelling episodes...and nothing has clicked with him. Very frustrating. And for so many social and health reasons he needs to not be sitting in peed up clothes all day at school. Electronics are definitely a trigger at home, but he doesn't it other times too. And some days he will stay dry and other days he will pee his pants 5 times. But I feel like I have a potty training toddler again. We can't go places because Matthew is always peeing his pants when we get there or on the way. I have had to start making sure I have a change of clothes for him if we are leaving home for any significant amount of time. And he doesn't seem to care which also frustrates me. It was one thing when he was 4, but its another thing when he is 7 1/2.

This weekend we did the bowel cleanse. I was not looking forward to it but it ended up not being bad at all. I did it for both Koyle and Matthew. We kept a tally through the day and they each ended up going poop like 16 times! No accidents all day long which was a miracle. They had to drink 100mg, or 6 capfuls of miralx disolved in 20 oz of gatorade, eat a chocolate laxative square when they started drinking, and another square 4 hours later. They had 6 hours to drink the gatorade but they did it in about 4. Of course, Matthew peed his pants 6 times the next day!! Grrr. I know it can take a couple weeks for the colon to shrink back down to normal size so I am hoping it starts to resolve a little in the coming days. They also have to have a miralax drink every night before bed for a while so that they will hopefully wake up and poop in the morning before school and not get constipated again. I am to the point of contemplating taking him to a therapist. I know of one in Boise that specializes in kids with potty problems. I just don't know what else to do. Kids-they know how to keep you on your toes. This too shall pass, but sometimes I wonder if it really will.